A New Name, A New Life

The most dramatic part of my childhood was finally settling down. The move was over! We were temporarily settled into our new apartment. A three bedroom apartment with six people. This did not go over well. Especially since temporary turned into a year. :\

I had just turned eleven and was excited to start a new life. I met a TON of new friends. I had at least four new friends that I played with on a regular basis. I was in heaven! My problems with sleepovers, parties and play dates were a thing of the past. I felt so accepted and loved.

There was even... a boy! Oh I thought he was so cute! This was the first boy that I had liked that I knew liked me back. He had kissed me on the cheek. Oh I think I almost died with embarrassment!

We had moved somewhere very very hot. I spent most of my days in the pool and found that I was a fish out of water. I told a lot of my close friends about my Poland Syndrome. They didn't care or mind. It seemed that I had finally found my place in life.

I found myself becoming a new person someone not even close to who I was before. Before I was a shy and lonely little girl; now I was becoming an outgoing fun young woman. So I chose a new name to go a long with new me. Qora, pronounced like Cora, that traditional spelling, was a self chosen name for myself and actually shows more of my personality then my birth name could ever have.

I started to ask my friends to call me Qora instead of my birth name as an experiment. The one person that took to it the most was the boy I had a crush on. He would always call me Qora and it would make me blush. I was getting braver and braver around him.

Then one day, we decided to go to the pool together. We went with all of my friends. I was still fairly young so you couldn't really see my PS but I was starting to show more.

My friends and I were all laughing having a good time. We were taking turns jumping off of the pools side. There was a large cliff and a waterfall. I jumped in the pool with my friend when I came up my swimsuit had shifted underwater. My friend and I fixed it as quickly as possible, but it was too late my crush had already seen.

I acted like nothing was different and nothing happened, because honestly nothing did. I was still the same me, but he spooked. He made up an excuse and got out of there as quick as he possibly could.

My first heartache.

I never really saw him after that. It hurt right at first but I was surprised at how quickly I got over it. Even at such a young age I braced myself against the pain and came out on top of it. I don't know if being bullied helped me get over this in any way but it definitely prepared me for the sting of rejection and pain.

I moved on as if nothing had occurred. I brushed that boy aside like I would do countless others. I didn't know it yet but deep down inside I had a feeling that there was something better out there and that I deserved something much better then some guy that spooked at the sight of anything different.

Taking this path of confidence and being different was very important for what was going to happen next. Instead of being heart broken over one stupid boy; I rose above it stronger and happier. With the knowledge that there were many more out there for me, and he was obviously not one of them. I was beautiful and if he couldn't see that then he was the one who was at a loss, not me.

Until next time....

You're Perfect just the way you are
No one's as Special as you.